I just got off the phone with a client of mine. She spoke about how her comfort with people was growing, particularly with two individuals with whom she had some struggle in the recent past. I noted her greater lightness of being as she talked about these two people and wondered aloud if there was a relationship between the fact that she spoke her truth with each, and how she now experienced a greater ease with them. Though the issues still remained, they were held much more lightly in her body. Perhaps obvious, but worth noting, is that there is a relationship between comfort with oneself and comfort with others. I have noticed that the more comfortable I am with myself—more at ease in my body—the more freedom I feel to express my truth. The more I express my truth -, with love, compassion, and honesty – the easier I feel with the person towards whom I expressed that truth. And the easier I feel, the more comfortable I feel with myself.

What is the source of this dynamic? Too often we think it is the other person and what they are doing, but it might be that my ability to be good with myself and express my truth.

Try this on as an experiment:

Think about all the people from whom you have withheld something meaningful—not expressed a truth that you know you wanted to express . It does not matter whether it is a precious truth, such as love, respect, or tenderness, or a hard truth such as anger, resentment, or even hurt. Take a sheet of paper and write down everything you have withheld, also noting down the feelings you have in your body.

Now, choose two or three individuals to whom you will now express that truth. Find a way in your heart to feel that truth with compassion and honesty, holding your own needs and the needs of the other in the process. Then, when you are ready, share that truth with them, maintaining compassion in your heart, honoring your needs and as well as the needs of the other. Notice the effect in your body as you experience an amazing personal freedom.