In a recent Huffington Post article, Bob Sutton revealed his top 14 examples of being an unconscious boss, derived from a request to his readers to seand in great examples. This led me to wonder, why would leaders be so unconscious – so checked out? If you’d like to ponder the question, here’s a link to the article:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-sutton/badboss-14-boss-horror-stories_b_770165.html#s161601

Here’s a short list of examples Sutton included in a blog:

1. A boss tried to show appreciation by giving an employee an ipod, but the employee is deaf.
2. My first boss was the founding partner of a mid-sized law firm in Boston…. He used to come in every morning, vise-grip my head with his hands, kiss the top of it, and say “hello my luv, ho-e-you, ho-e-you.” Then he’d proceed to shred me all day long.
3. A very attractive female direct report was working while sick. He shouted her name, and added, “You’re looking mighty ugly today!” Saying it once wasn’t enough. He said it very loudly about 3 or 4 times.
4. My wife’s boss eats pork chops in team meetings, then picks her teeth.
5.  (He) kept me from conferring with the doctors that were treating my mother for a brain tumor.

Now it’s easy to get all huffy about these examples and say to yourself, “I would never do that.” But look deeper. I suspect if you are like most, you will find examples of your own checked- out behavior. I remember well a time when I had just recently separated from my wife and was talking on the phone with a date right in front of her in our living room. I had no awareness or consideration for the effect I had on my wife. She was, needless to say, quite hurt by my behavior and I was quite shocked that I did it in retrospect. What caused me to do it?. I don’t believe it was designed to hurt her. I believe I was simply in my own world, not regarding her at all. And that’s the point. So much of our checked- out behavior is not regarding the other in any way. Were we to do so, we would likely make a different choice.

We are all in our own worlds, often failing to remember that others are a part of us. The key to being a conscious leader is to remember that all our behavior affects others and the organization as a whole, all the time. Everything we do matters. If we regard others completely and become aware of our own impact, we won’t be checked-out, and we won’t engage in the kinds of checked-out behaviors cited above.